Monday, August 29, 2011

Geaux Tigers!

Football season is here! The Saints played last night, and won- handily. Woo. And LSU football starts this weekend!!!! I, along with many others, can't contain my excitement!

Though the Tigers have had a quite terrible off season, everyone is more than willing to put the past behind his and kick this season off right! Several players have been declared ineligible by NCAA regulations, Jefferson and sidekick are out on bail, and the offensive coordinator has been with with Parkinson's disease. I think Les Miles, more than anyone, is ready to move forward with the season and head straight to the National Championship.

A friend on Facebook posted a link to the great article about LSU that was published in an Oregon paper. Here is the link, but it won't be up forever so I post article below as well. it is a little long, but really good, and pretty darn accurate!

"If you 'geaux' to Oregon-LSU, here's what you should know"
A look at the people you'll meet at Cowboys Stadium
By: Carl Dubois

While the LSU Tigers and Oregon Ducks sort out their personnel groupings and matchups, in light of all the offseason suspensions, let’s talk about the LSU people who aren’t listed on the school’s depth chart.

Let’s talk about the people you’ll meet if you go to the game next weekend in Arlington, Texas — the LSU fans.

These are people who conduct tailgating practice every summer. I’m talking about tailgating practice.

They will yell “Tiger bait!” at you if you walk past them in green and yellow. They might even call you a tree-hugging, dope-smoking liberal. But if they have any jambalaya or red beans and rice to spare, they’ll invite you over.

These folks can cook. If you think seasoning means a dash of salt, think again. Start with the holy trinity of Cajun cooking — chopped onions, bell pepper and celery — and get ready to work your way on — quickly — to the strong stuff.

I’ve got two words for you: Cayenne pepper.

Now I’ve really got two words for you: Duck gumbo.

Be afraid. Be very afraid, Ducks. Not of losing the game — of getting too close and being eaten.

Do you know this expression? Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer? Please understand that proximity is your call, your risk.

But I can offer a few suggestions on how to keep it friendly.

Tell them you think Terry Baker never should have won the Heisman Trophy over Jerry Stovall. You’ll be BFFs.

To make sure you get second helpings of jambalaya and andouille, dismiss the AP national championship USC won in 2003 and call LSU the real national champion that season.

If LSU fans are wearing what looks to you like purple and yellow, call it purple and gold. You’ll darn near crack the circle of trust by your when-in-Rome flexibility with definitions of color.

Call it sunflower gold if you must, but if you simply refer to purple and gold, you’ll be golden.

Boudreaux might be there. Thibodeaux too. Which brings me to another word: Geaux.

You’ve known it all your life as “go.” That’s just silly, almost like saying “you guyses’ ” when you have a perfectly good word like “y’all” available.

If you hear “Go … Tigers … Go … Tigers,” I promise you it’s spelled “Geaux … Tigers … Geaux … Tigers.”

“Go” would be like having someone named Thibodo. See how stupid that looks?

Louisiana is a state with a city named Natchitoches (NAK-uh-dish), a waterway named Atchafalaya (uh-chaff-uh-LYE-yuh), a parish (county) named Calcasieu (CAL-kuh-shoe) and a town called Cut Off (Cut Off). Why have a word so simple as “go” when you can complicate it with silent letters?

If you think Les Miles jokes are in order, let someone in purple and gold tell them. Les might be an idiot, but he’s their idiot.

Except, of course, when he’s their hero, their mad genius.

Or he might be both, which is often the case.

They’ll call him “The Hat” because he can’t quite seem to get a baseball cap to fit like everyone else can. An ESPN talking head turned that into “The Mad Hatter,” but LSU fans prefer “The Hat,” as in “Fear The Hat.”

I’ve got another word for you: Lesticles. Don’t look it up, but if you’re good with rhymes, you probably can guess it speaks to Miles’ bravado, dating to LSU’s 5-for-5 conversion rate on fourth downs in a thrilling 2007 victory at home against reigning national champion Florida.

“Onions!” is how Verne Lundquist of CBS describes it.

“Lesticles” is a word that will have you in good stead with LSU fans, provided you wait to giggle until they do.

Some other things you might find interesting about the new friends you’ll make next weekend at Cowboy Stadium:
Louisiana has drive-through daiquiri shops. A big piece of freezer tape over the straw hole of the snug-fitting plastic lid ensures you don’t end up driving with an open container, so rest easy.

Louisiana allows people 18 to 20 to be present in places where alcohol is served, which is why nobody there raised an eyebrow upon hearing LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson was at a bar called Shady’s the week before his 21st birthday.

You can’t buy alcohol if you’re under 21, but Louisiana still has some of the most liberal drinking laws in the country. Remember that when someone calls you the L-word, especially if you’re sitting in Section 420.

One reason LSU fans take scandal in stride is the most celebrated player in school history, 1959 Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon, served roughly three years in federal prison in the 1980s for counterfeiting.

His Heisman is now on display in a glass case at a Baton Rouge restaurant called TJ Ribs. As far as anyone knows, it’s not counterfeit.

For his part, Cannon has a sense of humor about scandal, but less so when it’s about his. A call to his office Friday morning was answered with the greeting, “Clearinghouse for all rumors about the LSU FIGHTING Tigers!”

Fighting Tigers, you should know, is the official nickname of LSU sports teams. Awkward right about now, huh?

There is an Internet meme, reworked from an original that pokes fun at Nebraska fans, and itsuggests LSU fans smell like corndogs. But bourbon might be closer to the truth, in many cases.

Don’t dare suggest there is a better game-day atmosphere anywhere than LSU’s Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night. Don’t hint that any other fan base might be louder or more loyal.

If you point out that Tiger Stadium was half-empty when the Tigers finished their second-half comeback against powerhouse Troy in 2008, please remember that was the loudest, most loyal half-empty stadium in the history of sports.

Oh, and LSU fans love their marching band — just like every other fan base does, only more so. If you see the hair on the back of their necks stand up after the first three notes of pre-game “Hold That Tiger,” know that’s a normal reaction.

Did you see the “Seinfield” episode in which Elaine Benes’ boyfriend became transfixed upon hearing “Desperado” by the Eagles? He wouldn’t let her declare it “our song,” because it was already his song.

Well, the pregame music the Golden Band from Tigerland plays is “our song” to every LSU fan you’ll meet.

LSU fans, and Louisiana natives as a whole, want you to know they don’t give a nutria’s backside what you think of them. However, they will read everything you post online anyway, because they can’t help themselves.

If they declare you an honorary coonass, don’t be insulted. It’s a compliment, despite what one angry Louisiana historian might say in an official letter of protest. In no way is it intended as a racial or ethnic slur, so if you hear it directed to you, it wouldn’t hurt to wear it as a badge of honor.

If, while you are at the game, you verbalize your knowledge of anything LSU-related, you will soon find out what message board your new buddies frequent online.
“I see SOMEBODY reads the Rant!” Tiger Rant loyalists of will say.
“Looks like SOMEONE has been on the Lair!” a subscriber to The Tiger’s Lair on will say.

“You must read TigerBait,” a veteran will say.

And they’re all correct, because nobody could possibly know anything about LSU that wasn’t first reported, conceived or invented on

LSU fans are the greatest in the country, except when they’re not. They can turn on their Tigers at the drop of a Hat.

When you’re winning, it’s the best place to be a coach, former LSU head football coaches have said. When you’re losing, the same coaches went on to say, it’s the worst.

Some wearing purple and gold acknowledge the LSU fan base has no qualms about eating its own.

That might be true, especially if there’s any Cayenne pepper or Tabasco handy.

They are a fun bunch.

Laissez les bons temps rouler means “Let the good times roll.” Those were believed to be the first words ever spoken by former Gov. Edwin Edwards, who just got out of prison.

He’s the one who famously said the only way he could lose a certain election was to be caught in bed with a dead woman or a live boy.

Edwards is a Cajun. Not everyone from Louisiana is, and you should know that.

The Ragin’ Cajuns of the University of Louisiana at Lafayette will tell you LSU stole “Geaux” and other Cajun ways from them. They can make a good case — and a good jambalaya too.
“Lagniappe” means “a little something extra.” You’re sure to get that with just about any LSU fan you meet, whether we’re talking food, drink, conversation or Tiger-baiting.

It’s OK to make eye contact. There’s a good chance you’ll pass a good time (another expression you might hear) if you hang out with the right LSU fans.
When y’all get back, I want to hear all about it from you guys.

1 comment:

  1. I just came across your site and I'm a "new blogger" -- loved the post... What are we going to do without Jefferson ?!?!?